There are 24 entries in the FAQ.
Pages: 1
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| How much, and what type of, financial assistance can I receive? |
 | Each adoption situation is truly unique and each state has specific laws regarding financial assistance. In most cases, the adoptive family will cover your medical bills. If you have insurance or Medicaid, the family will pay for anything that is not covered. In some states, funds can be provided for your living expenses, while in other states this is illegal. To find out what assistance can be provided in your state contact us today. |
| How involved can I, the birth mother, be in the entire adoption process? |
| This is your adoption plan! You call the shots. Your Adoption Coordinator will discuss with you your options and provide guidance when needed, but the final decisions are yours. You get to decide how much contact you want to have with the adoptive family as well as whether you would like to see the baby in the hospital or would rather be transferred off the floor. You'll be able to decide if you'd like to receive letters and pictures of the child growing up and, if you're unsure, you can have ABBA Adoption hold those items until you are ready. |
| How can I be sure that the families that ABBA Adoption works with provide me with the best possible choices for my baby? |
| ABBA Adoption accepts only the best adoptive family candidates in the United States. While most adoption agencies have minimal requirements of their families, ABBA Adoptions goes beyond the minimum requirements and has extensive interviews in order to provide you with the quality families that you are looking for.
We have families from various careers, backgrounds, and interests throughout the United States. With ABBA Adoption you can select from a variety of adoptive families.
In selecting your ideal family, we find the best quality screened Christian families for you. In addition, if you want the adoptive parents to be young and outgoing, we will find you the best quality screened families who are young and outgoing. If you want the adoptive parents to be older and more established, ABBA Adoption will find a couple that is older and more established. The agency will help you find the perfect family for you and your baby. |
| How much information about me is shared with the adoptive family? |
| You can share however much or little information about yourself as you feel comfortable sharing. The adoptive family will know your name, your last name (only if you want them to), your medical history, and the state that you live in. Your social history is provided to the family, for the child's benefit, once they have custody of the child. So, please remember to be as thorough as you can be so your child can learn about you and your family if he/she has questions some day. If you want minimal information shared with your child, let your Adoption Coordinator know and they can pass this along to the family. |
| How much information about the family will be shared with me? |
| You will receive a variety of profiles of adoptive families currently waiting to adopt, who fit your circumstances and wishes. These profiles contain photos of the family with descriptions of their lifestyle and interests, their relationship with each other, and what their home and extended family are like. Each profile will also include a "Dear Birth Mother Letter." This letter is from the family, for you to learn why they are adopting and what they would provide for your baby's life. Profiles give a personal voice to their lives, and you can start to learn their values and dreams for their family and future. The profile is meant to be an outline of the family, containing first name and any other information they choose to share at that time. This information will help you choose which families you may like to adopt your baby. You may have one or two that you like, or you may have more. Once you have informed your Adoption Coordinator of your favorites, she will help you to make sure they are a perfect match for you. |
| How much contact can I have with my baby and the adoptive family after the adoption? |
| Your adoption plan is completely up to you. You can design an adoption plan that is most comfortable for you. If you desire, you can receive letters and pictures from the adoptive family after the adoption takes place. You can also send pictures, letters and gifts to the adoptive family and baby through us. ABBA Adoption will work with you to determine how much, or how little, contact you desire and accommodate you accordingly. Your Adoption Coordinator will help you determine the best adoption plan for you. |
| Can my parents stop me from choosing adoption for my baby? |
| Adoption is your choice. This is your baby and you are the only one who will know if you can raise this child. In most states, your parents cannot stop you legally from creating an adoption plan. An adoption plan is something that may present a challenge for you emotionally if your parents do not want you to place the child. It is something that you will have to be prepared to deal with throughout your adoption process. However, helping your parents to understand why you feel adoption is the best option and also trying to include them in the process can help them to understand your reasoning, even if they do not agree with your decision. Ultimately, you are the only one who can make this decision because it will directly affect you and your child for the rest of your life. Your Adoption Coordinator can assist as needed to ensure that you have made the right choice for you and that you have the support you need. |
| Once I sign the adoption papers, can I change my mind? |
| The laws vary from state to state. In Arkansas, you sign the Relinquishment and Termination with the Power to Consent to Adoption and it is not valid until after the baby is born. The day after the baby is born starts the first day of your ten day revocation period. You have ten days after the baby is born to change your mind. The ten day period includes weekends and holidays, but If the tenth day is a weekend or holiday the last day to revoke is the next business day following the 10th day. There is no right to revoke beyond the revocation period. We will gladly go over the laws and procedures in your particular state. |
| How will the family tell my child about the adoption and about me when my child is older? |
| This is a question that can only be answered by the individual family. Each family has their own style of how to introduce the adoption to the child. When you are matched with your adoptive family, you can ask this question to them. If you would like your Adoption Coordinator to discuss it with them for you, just let her know. She would be happy to bring up the topic and share your wishes or provide some ideas that have been used by other adoptive families in the past. You will also have an opportunity to share with the adoptive parents what your would like your baby to know about you. You can still make a scrapbook for your baby in order to share photos of you and your family, hobbies, stories and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can then provide that to your child, as he/she grows older. You can write a letter to your baby, put together a picture album, and be as creative as you would like. Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby, or give a similar symbol of their love. If the father of your baby would like, he can also put together a scrapbook and write a letter to the baby. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. It is your opportunity to give your baby the knowledge of your love, personality, history, and reasons for your decision. The adoptive family will treasure whatever you provide, and share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and is a celebrated date in their lives. |
| Will I meet and/or talk to the adoptive family prior to the adoption? |
| You will have an opportunity to talk with your adoptive family initially through a conference call. Usually, your Adoption Coordinator will start off by introducing you to each other, and stay on the phone with you to help you feel comfortable and answer questions. The next step is to meet each other before the baby is born. It depends on your specific situation. If you have specific wishes, discuss them with your Adoption Coordinator. If you desire for your adoptive family to come to the hospital when you deliver, they will do their best to arrive quickly and spend time with you there. Depending on how your delivery goes, they may be able to arrive prior to the baby's birth. However, if you would prefer not to meet your adoptive family, be sure to share this with your Adoption Coordinator. She will do her best to make arrangements for your adoption according to your wishes. |
| What if I choose a family and am not comfortable with them and change my mind about them? |
| Adoption is your choice and we want you to be comfortable with the family that you have chosen. If you are not, then we want to know so we can make sure to find the perfect family for you and your baby. Talk with your Adoption Coordinator about any concerns as soon as you begin to feel them, as she may be able to share more information to help you feel comfortable. |
| How do I tell my family or friends about my adoption? |
| There are many different ways for you to tell your family and friends about your pregnancy and adoption plan. If you do not feel comfortable discussing it with them in person, then writing a letter can be an option. When you write a letter you can describe your reasons for choosing adoption and share all other thoughts and information you have collected about adoption. Writing a letter allows you to share this information, which you might otherwise forget if you were sitting in front of them. Finding the strength to tell them can be very difficult. However, adoption is a loving and unselfish choice and explaining to your family members and friends the reasons that you feel adoption is best for your child is a step that is worth taking. If you do not feel comfortable telling your family and feel it would be best to keep it confidential, that is okay too. Talk with your Adoption Coordinator about helpful tips and information that she can provide to you about your situation so you can decide what is best for you. Your Adoption Coordinator can also assist you in talking with your family and friends if you would like her to. |
| Are people right when they say that this is selfish of me? How should I respond when they say something like that? |
| Choosing adoption for your child is the most loving and unselfish decision that you can make. Adoption reflects positively on everyone involved. Your child will be able to have all the opportunities and experiences that you want for him or her. You are also able to move ahead and accomplish those goals that you may have for yourself. Due to your situation it may be too difficult for you to raise a child at this point. Realizing that there are other families out there who are unable to have children and will love your child as their own can give you a rewarding feeling. Just knowing that you are doing something so wonderful for someone else is an amazing act of love. It is important for you to surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and of adoption. Letting people know the reasons you chose adoption is a way to help others have more knowledge about adoption and how truly special it is to everyone involved. Adoption is your decision and therefore you are the only one who can make the decision. You are allowing a couple to become a family and your child to have everything that life has to offer. Have pride in knowing it takes a very strong person to recognize that adoption is the best option for themselves and for the child. |
| How will my other children react to adoption? How can I tell my children about my decision? |
| Teaching your children about adoption can be done in many ways. Reading books about adoption, telling them bedtime stories about situations that involve adoption, and even involving them in the adoption process or contact after the placement can be helpful in explaining your situation. Children can write letters or draw pictures to their new baby brother or sister. Oftentimes, this makes them feel as if the child is still a part of their life even when he/she is not living in the home. It also allows children to express their feelings and share more information that they may not have shared verbally. Adoption is a positive choice and children need to understand some of the reasons that adoption was the choice for you. On an age appropriate level, explain that you want to "share" this baby with another family who cannot have babies of their own. Remind your children that this baby will always be a part of their lives, but they just live with another family now. You may ask your Adoption Coordinator for further ideas about sharing your adoption experience with your other children. |
| Will my child understand my decision? |
| ABBA Adoption provides many ways for you to express the reasons that you chose adoption for your child. You can speak with the adoptive family and ask them how they plan to tell the child about you and the adoption. ABBA Adoption will provide you wiith resources to encourage you to share your hobbies, interests, pictures of you and your family, and any other details about your life that you want the adoptive family to share with your child. You also have the opportunity to write the child a letter for the adoptive family to keep that they can give to the child some day so you can explain to your child why you chose adoption. It is normal for birth mothers to have a lot of fears about the future of their children. However, expressing your feelings through writings, drawings, or other talents will show your child that you made this decision for them because you loved them and wanted what was best for them. |
| Will I always wonder how my child is doing now? |
| You will always hope that your child is happy and you will never forget about the experience you went through. However, getting to know the adoptive family during your pregnancy will provide you comfort by allowing you to see how much love they have for your child. Choosing to receive pictures and letters can help you stay informed and updated on how the child is doing. These things can reassure you that your child is happy and that you made the decision that was best for you and your child. You may feel some relief and comfort knowing that your child has what you wanted for them, a loving home full of opportunities. |
| Will I regret my decision? |
| There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. Regret is one of those emotions that are unpredictable. However, knowing that you can choose a family that you are comfortable with and creating an adoption plan that meets your needs will help you feel confident about your adoption. Adoption is a very difficult decision and it is normal to question your thoughts and feeling throughout the process. When you think about the reasons that you have considered and chosen adoption you will most likely find that it was the best decision that you could have made for everyone involved. Knowing that you made a positive decision out of love and in the best interest of your child, will help you cope with any feelings or thoughts of regret should you experience this. |
| Will I be able to see my baby after the birth? |
| Your hospital experience should happen in the way that you decide that you want it to happen. If you choose to see your baby after he/she is born, you can do that. You can choose to hold your baby, feed your baby, and change your baby. You may also choose to have the adoptive family share in these experiences so they can begin bonding with the baby. It is sometimes helpful for you to have closure, therefore, having some interaction with your baby at the hospital can allow you to say whatever you need to say to your baby and cherish that memory. You may choose not to see or have any contact with the baby because it does not feel right for you. That is also an option and the baby can stay with the adoptive parents in the hospital or in the nursery. Each individual birth mother has to decide what she is comfortable with and what works best for her. |
| What can I expect to feel after I say goodbye? |
| There are so many emotions that accompany the birth of a child: grief, loss, guilt, loneliness, sadness, relief, joy and happiness, sense of fatigue, confusion, and of-course doubt are a few of the most common emotions. There are other emotions as well, yet you may not experience all of these emotions. Adoption is such an overwhelming decision that it may take you a while to sort through all of your feelings. These emotions should be expected and are completely normal. They are part of the healing process. How one woman chooses to deal with her adoption decision may be very different with how another woman deals with hers. Some women speak of only happiness about their decision and consistently say that they have no regret. They know that they gave a family the greatest gift anyone could ever give them, a child. Some women will go through grief and loss feelings after their adoption. This may cause confusion because they feel so sad and lost, However, they know in their heart they made the right decision and feel happiness about that. It is important for you to understand all the possible emotions and verbalize your feelings to your loved ones and your Adoption Coordinator so we can help you with counseling and other resources. |
| Do I have to include the birth father in the adoption? |
| We encourage birth father participation in the adoption process. If the birth father is not supportive or chooses not to participate in the adoption, that is okay. In most states, the birth father will be notified of the adoption, however we can still proceed if he chooses not to sign a consent to adoption or be involved in any way. If he is supportive and willing to be involved, then we have background information and legal papers for him to sign. |
| What if I do not know who the father of the baby is or there is more than one possible father? |
| You are not alone and we will not judge you. Many birth mothers do not know exactly who the father of their baby is or how to locate him and that is okay. We will explain the process of how an unknown birth father will be handled in your specific state. The most important thing is for you to be as honest and open about the potential birth father (s) as possible. |
| What if the birth father does not agree with my adoption decision? |
| We have worked with many birth mothers, where the birth father does not agree with the adoption plan. He does have the option of contesting the adoption, however many birth fathers never actually take the necessary steps to assert their parental rights to the child. Therefore, the birth mother is able to continue with her adoption plan. |
| Is it uncommon that the birth father is my boyfriend, fiancee, or husband and we want to place our baby for adoption? |
| Absolutely not. Many birth parents are still dating or even married and they are choosing adoption together. Every person's situation is unique and in many cases adoption is the best choice for the baby, even if the birth parents are still in a relationship. This can be due to age, financial instability, other children that they are already caring for, or various other reasons. Having your boyfriend or spouse involved in your adoption can provide extra support and guidance for you during this time. We support couples who choose adoption together. |
| Why is ABBA Adoption the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers? |
| We have worked with many women facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to women in need. Our caring staff is able to assist you 7 days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and the options available to you.
When choosing an adoption agency, you must feel completely comfortable with their program and staff. With ABBA Adoption you will work with an Adoption Coordinator who is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Coordinator will be your advocate, providing support and guidance as you decide the type of adoption plan that is right for you. You will also meet with our Licensed Social Worker who will counsel with you through your decision and offer other counseling programs to you that best meet your individual needs. ABBA Adoption offers Life Time Counseling to all birth parents. |
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